The week we found out that we would have to put Ninja to sleep was an emotional roller coaster. We tried wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, but we didn’t want to totally shut ourselves off from the world. The day before we had Ninja put to sleep was one of the hardest days of that week. I was meeting Megan to talk photos over coffee and we had also planned on going out to see the opening of Brad’s show Oral Obsessions at Tilt Gallery.

These were nice escapes from the reality of what was going to happ0en the next day. It took a lot of energy not to stay home. I’m very glad I didn’t and talking with Megan about photos was very refreshing. She helped remind me of the fire that’s inside. The fire that sometimes grows small and faint but never goes out. I was inspired to fuel that fire whenever I could.

Several times at the vet’s office, I wished I had brought me camera. Afterwards, I was glad I didn’t. I was glad I was present to feel and participate in everything, rather than have the potential to dilute the experience by hiding behind the camera.

Arielle and I went over what happened at the vet’s office several times. We filled each other in on things the other didn’t notice. We both wanted to remember every detail of our late time with Ninja. She was afraid of forgetting something so she wrote about it. I told her to write down everything. Everything she remembered, everything I filled her in that she didn’t notice, everything she felt before during and afterwards. This way if her memory of the event started to fade, she would have a record.

Arielle wrote down everything and I was inspired.